When a man on the street asks another, Brother, can you spare a dollar?, the word brother is being used as an address term (a word or phrase for the person being talked or written to). By claiming the kind of closeness in relationship associated with a family member, the speaker’s choice of address term is an attempt to create solidarity (i.e. being the same in social status), perhaps leading to a willingness to hand over some cash. He could have begun his request with Sir instead, indicating an unequal relationship of power (i.e. being different in social status) and, since he is higher in status, perhaps Sir has the ability to hand over some cash.

More typically, an interaction based on an unequal relationship will feature address terms using a title (Doctor) or title plus last name (Professor Buckingham) for the one with higher status, and first name only for the one with lower status, as in: Professor Buckingham, can I ask a question? ~ Yes, Jennifer, what is it? More equal relationships have address terms that indicate similar status of the participants, such as first names or nicknames: Bucky, ready for some more coffee? ~ Thanks, Jenny.

In many languages, there is a choice between pronouns used for addressees who are socially close versus distant. This is known as the T/V distinction, as in the French pronouns tu (close) and vous (distant). A similar type of social categorization is found in German (du/Sie) and Spanish (tu´ /Usted). In each of these distinctions, as in older English usage (thou/you), the second form is used to indicate that the speakers do not really have a close relationship. Traditionally, these forms could be used to mark a power relationship. The higher status or more powerful speaker could use tu or thou to a lower-status addressee, but not vice versa, as the Quaker Richard Davis discovered to his detriment (described in this chapter’s opening quotation). Lower-status individuals had to use the vous or you forms when addressing those of higher status. This usage is described as non-reciprocal, but the reciprocal use (both speakers using the same form) of the tu forms has generally increased in Europe among younger speakers, such as students, who may not know each other really well, but who find themselves in the same situation.

In English, people without special titles are addressed as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. Only the women’s address terms include information about their social status. In fact, one of the most frequently used address terms for a woman indicates that she is the wife of a particular man (called “Frank Smith,” for example), as in Mrs. Smith, and sometimes even Mrs. Frank Smith. When the original system was put in place, women were obviously identified socially through their relationship to a man, either as wife or daughter. These address terms continue to function as social category labels, identifying women, but not men, as married or not. A woman using Ms. as part of her address term is indicating that her social categorization is not based on her marital status. This type of observation leads us to a consideration of the most fundamental difference in social categorization, the one based on “gender.