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Politeness in an appropriate manner
3:24:18 2023-08-01 983

The other side of showing love and praising your child is to discipline him in a decent manner, and this is so important that in one of the studies conducted by the researchers, "Mark Eastberg" and Dr. Brad Johnson, at the Institute for Psychology Research, many shy adults said that paradoxical or inappropriate politeness was a contributing factor to their shyness. It seems that when they could not see clear boundaries or rules, they did not know how to act properly. Hence, they lose confidence in their ability to find successful ways and cope with difficult situations. After all, if they jump on the furniture and adults laugh about it, they will always expect to laugh every time they do it, right? But this does not always happen in their homes, and those contradictory messages lead to confusion and excessive disorder in behavior.

Another study indicated that shy children feel harsh criticism in a way that differs from their peers of extroverted children, and strict children in their nature often store criticism within themselves and take it as a personal insult, so be careful of this in your words and actions with them.

After all, we can say that the discipline of a shy child must happen with a degree of fairness and regularity, and to do so, try these simple tips:

Correct the wrong behavior, not the child: try to be constructive and sensitive. If you say, "Remember to say 'thank you' the next time the waiter fills your glass," that is a more constructive way than saying, "You're so rude!"

Set consistent standards for behavior. When you do this, your child knows what to expect and therefore how to behave well. He will trust his instincts and decisions if he can anticipate behavioral rules and consequences.

Make sure that you and your husband follow the same set of rules: if you both have different rules, the child will argue with one of you if he makes a mistake from the other's point of view, and your roles will be limited to either the role of the educator who disciplines his child or the role of the guardian who takes care of his child. This problem arises most clearly when the parents are separated and have separate homes and different sets of rules. Discuss the limits and values of appropriate behavior with your husband or wife before a child's behavior problem spirals out of control.

Don't Resist Love When Your Child Goes Too Far: Even though it's hard sometimes, don't dismiss your child when you've had enough and can't stand him going too far.

Don't use words like 'bad boy' 'bad girl' 'stupid' or any other egregious insults: your shy child will take them badly and feel that no one will ever love them.

Follow your own rules: Sure, you can stay up later than your child, but if you want your child to be careful about table manners or to be polite to strangers, you must follow those rules as well.

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