11:5:14 
2025-03-26 
304
No matter how powerful your natural alternative style is, don't let yourself fall prey to it. Here are three things you can do to mitigate the damage caused by this behavior.
First, relieve yourself of as much excess stress as possible. Most of us know what to do, and we just have to do it. Here are some effective strategies for managing stress levels:
- Do stress-reducing activities like walking, running, swimming, and watching the sunset.
- Occasionally, de-stress or reduce your stress level by reducing your schedule or avoiding certain people and situations that cause you significant stress.
- Change your approach. You can reduce your stress not only by changing the situation, but also by changing your response to it.
Obviously, these stress-management strategies are practical, and they're most needed when stress is most difficult to manage. As journalist Sydney Harris put it, "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
- Limit the damage to your relationships caused by your alternative behavior. Reschedule meetings and engagements if possible. Even if you can't completely finish your schedule when you're under pressure, it's important to postpone those meetings that can be rescheduled.
If you must meet with someone while you're under pressure, decide from time to time to act as if you weren't in the alternative behavior. A customer relationship manager had an argument with one of his salespeople. It was clear the manager was using the alternative behavior, and the conversation was escalating from bad to worse. Suddenly, the manager's phone rang. Despite clearly not being in control of his emotions just moments before, he spoke normally with a customer for five minutes. When he resumed speaking with the salesperson, he reverted to the aggressive and extreme behavior he had been using before the phone call. What we're trying to understand here is that he could have used a behavior other than the alternative behavior when speaking with the customer, and therefore, he could have used it when speaking with the employee.
We don't mean suppressing your feelings and keeping the pressure inside, as that's one of the worst things you can do. Instead, you should deal with your feelings and the pressure in a way that doesn't harm your relationships. In other words, learn to release your own pressure without filling others' pockets with it. Act through your alternative behavior—but not when you're with others.
Finally, don't make any decisions while in the alternative mode. If you do, you'll likely regret it.
When you're in the alternative mode, pressure looms over you, and in this state, your natural instincts may not help you either. When your decision-making source stops working, it's not the right moment to make a decision you've been living with for a long time.
Unfortunately, when a person uses their alternative mode, they often feel intense pressure to make a decision or take action right away. Making a decision under intense pressure to avoid, submit, dominate, or attack may relieve some stress, but it is a very costly way to deal with stress. The price of making decisions under the influence of the alternative style is usually a series of long-lasting negative effects.
Obviously, decisions cannot be postponed forever, but the decision made under the alternative style is almost always bad, so it is not advisable to solve any problem or make any decision in this situation. Instead of making a bad decision while under the influence of the alternative style, it is recommended that you focus on reducing your stress as quickly as possible. Do whatever it takes. Get rid of the control of the alternative style as quickly as possible, then make the best decision. Or delegate urgent decisions to someone else who has complete control over their nerves.
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