10:32:13 
2024-01-21 
467
Once you have children you become part of a family, and you are no longer free to act as you wish, as a husband and wife who act as you wish. You have become a family, and this means that the mood of each family member affects the others. Of course, there are people who can maintain their mood even if those around them become confused, but most of us find that the mood of any of them is strongly affected by the mood of those around them.
Because you follow the rules of proper upbringing, you need to know that you are responsible for the general mood in the family. This does not mean that it is your fault that a family member feels upset or sad - rather, I mean that if everyone around you feels upset or if you start screaming at each other, it is not useful for one of you to wish that one of the others would stop wailing or screaming. If you feel that one of you should end this situation, it should be you.
Children do not understand that one person's mood may affect another; they don't realize that the reason you're annoying them is because they themselves have been annoying you all day. Of course you will start teaching them, but it may take years before they can do anything about it. As soon as they feel upset, they will start behaving badly with you in order to punish you, even if they know that this in turn will cause you distress; They will think to themselves, “Well, it will teach them a lesson,” and of course it takes an adult to break this repetitive pattern. And that person is you, as you said. One of my children in particular (but I will not identify him by name) used to fight with me when he was younger. What made me most mad about this was that he would not back down, even if I lost my temper with him. In the end, my wife, after choosing the right time, explained that the reason behind this was most likely that I myself was not ready to back down either. The example I was setting before him was an example of an ineffective method of resolving disputes.
The facts that I will tell you now may not be pleasant, but here they are: Parents who scream at their children, their children will often grow up accustomed to screaming in return. Parents who always frown encourage their children to frown. And whoever complains, their children will complain as well. This may not always happen, but it will happen, more often than if their parents had not.
The facts that I will tell you now may not be pleasant, but here they are: Parents who scream at their children, their children will often grow up accustomed to screaming in return.
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