4:21:6 
2024-09-08 
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Seven methods that help the educator in managing children’s behavior without provoking their stubbornness, and achieving their response to what we direct them to. It is no secret that it is not easy for parents to maintain calm and be patient in dealing with children’s stubbornness, especially when they do not want to be treated with nervousness and violence. In order for parents to reduce their anger, achieve the educational goal, and take control of their children, we present to them these useful and beneficial methods:
First: Eliminate the causes of disobedience: Parents must be wise in diagnosing the causes of disobedience, as some children suffer from a behavioral disorder and show their rebellion and disobedience in fits of anger against the authority of the educator. At that time, the cause must be treated so that parents can guide their children in a way that does not provoke their rebellion.
Second: Turn your orders into a request: The child understands the orders as a challenge against his desires, so he rebels and insists more. Then, we must resort to arousing his emotions and the depth of his relationship with us, so he should be asked to please help, for example, or to please accept something.
Third: Let your son save face: Give him space to express his point of view and determine his position, because forcing him to implement what we see as right will bury his being and turn him into a shy and hesitant person. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) says: (If you reprimand a young person, leave him a place for his sin so that embarrassment does not lead him to stubbornness).
Fourth: Refrain from using the stick: All forms of intimidation and punishment are always negative for the psychological state of children, so avoid using tools of intimidation and beating.
Fifth: Leave blame and reprimand: Reprimand and blame may not achieve the educational goal of holding children accountable if it is permanent, but its absence from our list of instructions often leads to children going too far.
Sixth: Point out mistakes from a hidden side; That is, use indirect guidance and advice, as the proverb says: (I mean you, listen, neighbor), because this method is more eloquent and has a large percentage of influence on children.
Seventh: Accept what is easy for him and do not be difficult: If the child shows his submission to the right things, this is sufficient and do not demand more from him. For example, if his study of his lessons is for a short time, encourage and motivate him and do not burden him with more than that so that he studies for a longer time.. So accept what is easy from him in the hope that he will develop himself.
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