Don’ t push them to make excuses

9:47:47

2020-12-04

1268

Some instructors like father, mother and teachers use the pressurized argumentative way to make his son or student accept his criticizing and blaming . and ask him to admit his fault , and that he had bad motivations . Plus , they don’t listen to the child whenever he wants to explain himself .
Fathers and mothers imagine that this argumentative method , pressurized discussion and suspecting motives is a useful way for raising and serves educating children .
While in fact , this style pushes children to be ready for answering the questions of mothers and fathers and think to come up with excuses and justifications that ends the parents’ argument and weakens it! And thy will form the situation to suit with justification perfectly ; to convince his father and rouse his mother’s pettiness with his unreal excuses sometimes .
The effect of this method is not only in making children answer their parents and children only ! but it reflects on their social behavior too !
Some of them become excellent in making up excuses and justifications about treating others ; and makes an answer for every question , a justification for every blaming and an excuse for every reproach.
And swears a lot for every question that comes from a feared or loved person !
So he doesn’t show up on time and makes an excuse in his mind , and doesn’t do his duties and makes justifications that are ready to silence who blame or reproaches him .
for that , the children grow up with a weak trust in themselves , listen to the scandals , and explain other’s actions negatively and even attempting to charge their close people intentions badly ! and makes excuses for that , thinking they are smart and know about people’s nature .
fathers , mothers and instructors must stop this way of raising ; for children don’t think like you and don’t have the ability for logical analyzing and base their speech to line of reason , or making smart ways in refusing your orders or lack in their duties ; as you imagine !!
and parents should avoid saying that their children’s intentions , thinking and motivations are evil and demonic ! because children shouldn’t hear negative and bad thoughts based on your thinking for they have clear and kind hearts !
we should accept their reply on any question you ask without doubt in honesty , and avoid argument and charging to proof they are lying , you have to make them feel safe and raise their trust ; to make them feel that you don’t want to harm or insult them when you blame or ask them ; but you have to insure them that you want to help and behave them .
so mothers and fathers must be careful not to be the reason for their children’s bad behavior !
and it was said that the prophet Mohammad ( peace be upon him and his family ) “ mercy be upon who helps his child to be good on him , by forgiving his attitude and praying for him in private “