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2023-09-24 
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Your opinion about boys in general and your son in particular will have a strong and profound impact on the child and the young adult your son will become. As parents, you shape the world in which the child lives and teach him, by example and in words, what is really important in life. You will know, often without even realizing it, about men, women, love, life, and success. The boy will begin his life by seeing himself through your eyes. If you think it is a big responsibility, you are right.
Football star quarterback Vinny Testaverde's father reportedly put a ball in his crib on the day he was born. During his childhood and adolescence, Vinny lived with the idea that his destiny in life was to become a great football player, and he succeeded in that. But, what if Vinny doesn't like football? What if he played only to please his father, fearing that he would lose his love and approval if he quit the game?
What if I desperately wanted my son to follow in my footsteps but he refused?
People prefer invitations to orders. You can teach your son what you enjoy and share the fun with him, but you cannot force him to become what he is not. He will be happier and better off when he has the freedom to discover his own path... with your support and guidance.
All parents have hopes for their children and dream about their future, and this is what you will do too. But wise and loving parents strike a balance between their own expectations and their realistic understanding of who the son is, inside and out.
Think for a moment about your own childhood. What was the atmosphere like in the house you grew up in? Did you feel that you were yourself or that your parents were demanding and critical? What did your parents think of your siblings? Were you more or less likable? Did you have a sense of belonging and value, or did you have to put in a lot of effort to please your parents? What impact do you think your childhood had on your life as an adult?
All babies are born equipped to bond with their parents, and they all need their parents' love, approval, and support. As the years go by, you will undoubtedly discover that your son's mission in life is to become himself. It will match your expectations in some ways and surprise you in many others.
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